This is especially true for those closest to us. For example, we believe they are in conflict with us, limiting or resisting us, when in reality, one part of ourselves is limiting or resisting another. Therefore, when we harbor feelings of resentment or blame toward the other, they in turn feel abused. So, even though, we may believe the other is conflicting with us, the reality is that we are conflicting with ourselves. When we have come to an inner reconciliation between our various conflicting needs and beliefs, we will find that the external conflict will disappear.
Consider that, the differing needs and ways in which men and women think, feel and behave often lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. The upside is, that these problems can be excellent growth situations if handled maturely and lovingly. If not, they can lead to chronic conflict, isolation or separation. It is our different needs, or more often, our different ways of satisfying the same needs, that brings us into conflict.
Therefore, it is very common for two or more people who have exactly the same needs, to have different perceptions as to how they can or should fulfill those needs.
If we do not let go of our ego, our selfishness, our smallness and open up into love, we will continue suffering over and over again. Without love there is no harmony, no happiness. We have two choices. We can look at our relationship problems as opportunities to learn more about ourselves and grow free from our imbalances and change. This change will be a movement in our own spiritual evolution.
It will be a movement from I and mine to we and ours ; from ego-centeredness to love. The other option is to continue suffering. May we always remain present in our relationships, with the stick ability to work through our issues together. Through the process of self-discovery, we can learn to create and maintain Extraordinary Relationships. Read More. Where are you on your path to development and self-mastery?
Find out with our 2 Minute Personal Development Quiz! View Forum. Get exclusive content, video tutorials, and our Workbook! The Ability to Effective Communication is Lacking To be clear, we have not been educated in how to communicate openly and honestly. She is also an accomplished author, speaker, and facilitator, hosting workshops, seminars and lectures in North America and Internationally.
Following a successful career as an entrepreneur, mentor and coach, she made a conscious choice to shift her focus to one she was passionate about and one with a stronger bottom line than simply commerce for commerce sake.
Over the past fifteen years she has developed her own programs for assisting others in the process of self-discovery and personal transformation. The Writing on Our Walls is one such program. Working from her clinic and training facility she continues to share her methodologies and techniques mentoring and supporting others to take responsibility in reaching their full potential while guiding them towards enjoying a joyful and happy life.
Our Learning Center. Do You Live Life with Passion? Couples in this stage feel anxious around each other and start to act cold or distant, according to Avtgis et al. If you avoid saying anything about the things that matter to you because you already know what your partner will say, you may have entered the stagnating stage. This is the stage when other people around you start to realize that your relationship is having problems. From this point on, the relationship is in serious trouble and can only be saved by a major effort.
According to Avtgis et al, couples in the stagnating stage may stop being affectionate with each other or going out places as a couple.
If you are in this stage, you may no longer enjoy your partner's company and both of you might feel that you are just going through the motions without any real feeling. The stagnating stage is painful and unhappy for both people. To avoid the awkward, tense interactions you've been having, you may begin to avoid each other.
If you find yourself making other plans or taking on extra hours at work just to avoid spending time with your partner, you may have entered the avoiding stage. At this stage the relationship is almost over, but the stage can drag on for a while until one of you decides to officially end it. Couples going through this stage stop communicating with each other, states Avtgis et al.
The terminating stage begins when one partner announces the desire or intention to break up. It often involves a conversation about what went wrong, but it can sometimes happen suddenly with no conversation. This experience scarred my adolescent soul.
For years, I struggled to trust women. My lack of trust manifested in various ways — not being vulnerable, overreacting to girlfriends talking with other guys, and leaving relationships before I got hurt. In failing to trust my partners, I unconsciously sabotaged many of my young adult romantic relationships.
The problem I had and that many others face is a lack of trust. And while you may be able to move past the strange ways in which a lack of trust manifests in the short-term, in the long-run, it will kill your relationship.
Eventually, your partner will tire of your inability to trust them, and the relationship will break down. Often, lack of trust stems from our fear of being hurt, which can come from early childhood experiences.
While the first few months or years of a relationship may go smoothly, you will inevitably run into challenges along the road. And to successfully navigate and endure these challenges, you need to be able to communicate well with your partner. For example, imagine that your partner has the opportunity to lead a project that will transform her career. If you care about your partner and her career ambitions, you will share her excitement about this opportunity.
But as the project progresses, perhaps you notice that she is spending significantly more time at work. She might be unusually stressed or unable to be present with you.
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